by MLNPstar Goddess Erica
Sex is fascinating to me. When it’s perfect, it can satisfy us physically, emotionally, interpersonally and even spiritually. But does perfect sex even exist?
My answer is yes. Though, if you’re skeptical, it’s because most of us have a narrow view of what “real sex” is. How do you define “real sex”? If you ask any random adult on the street to define “real sex”, you’ll likely receive a description involving some form of penetration. Or at least intentional, purposeful contact with sexual organs. We often forget penetration is both physical and emotional.
We forget sexual pleasure and release are felt through every body part — not just the NSFW ones.
As a Tantrika — or a spiritual sex practitioner — I take special pleasure in finding new ways to experience the delicious tension and release of sex. Tantra teaches us there are infinite ways to enjoy and savor life, not just sex. Sex is wonderful because when you slow down to honor those beautiful raw moments, you realize living is what’s truly orgasmic.
So how do we share this bliss of living with others? Slow down. Be silent. Share eye contact, hold hands, kiss… When you slow down, the climax is the touch. When you’re in sync, the main event can become the kiss.
I just uploaded a #RealWorldSex video where no one got naked and no one came. The first minute goes by like a still as I gaze silently into my gimp’s* eyes, basking in the energy of his desire. From the camera’s angle, you can’t see his eyes. But I do. And I am entranced by his devotion.
When I kiss him, the world around me dissolves away. I am intoxicated when I press my lips to his and feel his prayers flow through me. His surrender a tithe as he offers himself to me. His strength and mass at my command. He penetrates me with his submission and we are both along for the joy ride. It’s heady stuff. And it’s the crux of the type of sex we explore through our Tantra-based BDSM power dynamic. Put simply, we’ve agreed his pleasure is secondary to mine. In fact, it’s always a side-effect.
In the video, you see our exchange of power. My gimp relinquishes — submits — his power and sexual pleasure to me.
Regular porn-informed sex is often a power struggle. A struggle to get to the orgasm, a struggle to please your partner, a struggle to be seen as skilled, experienced, compliant, or whatever you’ve been told “good in bed” means. I do not wrest my gimp’s compliance from him because with Tantra, there is no struggle. Only acceptance and a savoring of every moment as it unfolds before us.
So let’s redefine “penetration”. Let’s reexamine what parts of our bodies have sexual function. Let’s revise our definition of “sex” so we can better recognize the beautiful nuances of #RealWorldSex.
Because, when you relax and allow things to happen, wonderful things start to happen. Even if all you’re doing is kissing with your clothes on.
*I’m a Tantric Dominatrix and my gimp is my submissive partner who does and becomes whatever I desire of him for my satisfaction. It’s entirely consensual, loving and quite fun.